Before I go on to the sharps/flats, let me just put all of what I've done here together:
C Major/Minor: A Good Kid/The Intellectual Worrier
D Major/Minor: The Kind & Considerate Friend/Ms. Bored & Mundane
E Major/Minor: Mr. Out-of-this-world/The Disappointed One
F Major/Minor: The Impatient Achiever/The Anxious Recluse
G Major/Minor: Man of Reason & Comfort/Mr. Forlorn Nostalgia
A Major/Minor: The Quiet Nurturer/The Down-on-his-luck Immigrant
B Major/Minor: The Sweet Introvert/The Romantic/Endearing Pessimist
None of those articles have the names I've given them right there, but they fit. I think it's pretty interesting to lay all of this down in words because I can see it visually in front of me, organized and proper. And none of that applies to each of their corresponding scales - just the major and minor chords.
Looking at all of that at once, it's obvious all the minors are, if not in some way negative, boring. D, F minor, and B are female while the rest are male. If it seems that the boys outnumber the girls now, it won't stay that way; C#, D#, F# and G# are all feminine, with A# being the only masculine chord to me. So in the end the ratio is actually 11:12 (more girls than boys).
I'm going to begin C# major/minor either tomorrow or the next day.