Monday, May 19, 2014

The Sunrise

On the radio one afternoon, I heard this:

While I'm not reviewing it, I do like it for its gentle atmosphere and sound. It's a very low-sounding song, which gives me a lot of darker tones synesthetically.

The thing about this song - as well as a few others - is that it really makes me look into my natural predispositions through the music (not the lyrics) and it provides a good basis for what they are.

Despite almost never waking up during the morning (the closest I get is around or just after 11am) I've always considered myself a morning person. By this I'm referring to a completely different version of the meaning, or rather a different meaning. A normal morning person is up and energetic and bright and happy during the morning. I'm...asleep. And when I get up, I say very little, maintain a sort of silent wall around me, and keep to myself for the first 5-10 minutes of being up.

What I mean rather is being predisposed to that time of the day, largely the direction of the sun, and the dawn and deep calm before that. Just imagine someone like me getting up at 4:30am or so, during the summer. I'd still be quiet and aloof for the first ten minutes, but then I'd be like I am the rest of the day - and I'd enjoy a natural thing that I feel at home in.

Working until 11pm at night at Wal-Mart doesn't help facilitate this, and here I am, minutes to 1 in the morning, typing this.

Songs like the Peter Gabriel one, with its deep bass, deep drums, deep synths, make me think of utter peace before the dawn, coming awake in a room in the predawn and feeling rested and calm, at home. Go out, feel the silent world, breathe it in.

There's another part of this, and it's nature. The music makes me think of trees, of a forest, with its sounds and atmosphere. A pre-dawn forest. Imagine having a bedroom in a cabin within or adjacent to this kind of thing. Waking up feeling warm and calm and at home. The sounds of nature filter in. The music puts me right at home in this. I remember that day, May 2009, the 24th, when I got up extremely early to go volunteer at the Ottawa Marathon. I rode my bike through empty arterials, then took a shortcut through Grenfell Glen, cutting through the trees off Woodroffe. Nature and trees and predawn. That was a great morning and a positive memory.

Someday, maybe I'll be able to live like that. Not just getting up early, but living in that kind of environment. Synesthesia has always given me colours, tones, textures, and images that are morning-lit more than afternoon-lit. For some reason, I've always associated early morning with nature, calm, peace, beauty and sensuality - and afternoon with frustration, sweat, rush hour, city, and other more negative connotations. That's the prelude to the end of the day.

There are a few other songs that give me this deep, proper, 'right' feeling - 'Kiss From a Rose' by Seal (in particular the 'I've been kissed by a rose' refrain in the bridge) - 'Cruel Summer' by Bananarama (the bass and percussion instruments, and drums) and the chorus to 'New Religion' by Duran Duran (the synths, melody, and Simon Le Bon's voice). Often, an aspect that makes the feeling more right is the thought of rain. Raining or just tinkling away in the jungle, early in the morning, before the start of a beautiful morning.

Now if I could only get up early enough. I need a new job. I know it's not the only thing to blame, but I can't just come home from all that physical activity - and immediately go to bed. I need to have my evening after work.


Justin C.

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