Friday, May 16, 2014

Facebook Love Diary

I've gone through periods of time where I'd over-post on Facebook. As much as three or four times a day, and about really random things too. Probably most of my Facebook posting consists of statuses referring to particular thoughts or things that struck me as outstanding somehow during the day, whether it be a quote or a personal realization or a reflection on or short mentioning on something I'm dealing with - for example, my actual looking forward to Comic-Con last week. I often upload graphic-design-related images, and post YouTube videos of songs I've come across or feel I should share for a usual fun or positive reason. I've likely posted every song I've reviewed on here on Facebook.

I've managed to tone it down somewhat since the end of last summer so that it's only one or two per day, plus a photo or album upload if that's the case, but if there's one thing I've never posted about, it's my feelings towards someone else.

You can tell me that that isn't the case on this blog - and you're right, in terms of referencing people or referring to a long-distance relationship. I wore my feelings on my sleeve on here, or at least, I did three to four years ago. But what I'm referring to is explicit feelings, constantly, with a direct shine on a person, while you're in a relationship, at all times. I did that a couple of times on here. In late 2010. But on Facebook, that's not the case. I quite dislike that, actually.

Let me ask a question: Do you have a Facebook friend who is in the midst of a relationship with someone, and he or she is very happy at the moment, and as a way of expressing it, they're posting at least once a day about how amazing and happy their life is, and their well-being, thanks to their partner? I do.

I have nothing against relationships and romantic expression, but in my opinion there's a time and a place. There's a public display and then there's a private one. Facebook is public. You've got an average 100+ people on there who can see everything you post. A minor reference once in awhile doesn't bother anyone, but constant, every-single-day fawning in front of everyone...isn't that a bit annoying?

This doesn't have to singularly just apply to people who aren't in a relationship, but to everyone. You don't have to be alone to find it annoying. We get it. You're happy. She's amazing. We don't need to know every detail - or rather, be reminded all the time. My friend's alone for a few days. Instead of busying himself with other things, maybe hanging out with some friends perhaps to kill idle time, he's posting on Facebook about how much he misses and isn't happy that his girl is gone. Pictures followed, forlorn ones. Geez. For the first time ever, I actually went and hit 'unfollow.'

I realize that I'm paradoxically doing what my friend's doing right now - referencing him and what he's doing and displaying my annoyed feelings on it. This isn't Facebook. But what I'm also trying to say is that I think, generally, you can get to a point before you annoy your Facebook friends - I can't be the only one who feels the need to roll my eyes. Sure, there are the people who are inanely super-positive and cheerleading those people on, but there are others who just don't like to have this under their noses all the time. We're not negative or cynical or single and bitter; we just don't use Facebook for the primary focus of smiling and 'aawwing' at someone's dreamy, romantic love diary. Keep it to yourself - indulge your feelings now and then online, sure, we'll know you're still happy, but keep the rest of your utterly knocked-over-state of fawning to your private diary or journal. I know I do.

Justin C.

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