Saturday, June 4, 2011

Different Feelings Aren't Good?

This can be considered a further discussion of sorts from the 'point of view vs definition,' though I'm giving more of an argument than an observation.

Whenever someone remarks, in annoyance or amusement, that something is 'gay,' I get annoyed myself and if I can, I tell them that it's insulting and try to explain why. It's usually easy for them to see why.

I'm not saying this based on my sexual orientation - in fact, it's probably more important that I say it when I'm someone who is attracted to females. But I'm still insulted when someone uses the term in that kind of derogative way, because I think anyone, regardless of who they're attracted to, shouldn't be regarded as lower or inferior just because of that.

When I launched that Lijit gadget on here in November 2009, which simultaneously opened up an account for me at the said gadget's blog statistic site, I swiftly observed that the term 'gay' was searched on here. It was the first thing the site registered as a search.
I am unaware if it was searched in an ignorant, childish way to see if my blog was such in derogative terms, or if I regularly talked about sexual orientation, or if whoever searched it was wondering if I was such, in both ways (derogative or attracted to males).

The reason I'm writing about this is because I read somewhere that June was LGBT Pride month. I think so. I'm sorry if I don't have my facts straight. More importantly I'm writing it because I'm tired of people, or my certain friends, using the word in such a bad way.

I have a friend who has a sort of childlike demeanor. The kind of guy who likes American Dad and Family Guy and potty humor. I've probably mentioned him in my transcribed written notes on here. And when he would say something is gay, I'd tell him how it was insulting. Of course he couldn't see why - he 'didn't mean it that way.' Of course he did, he just didn't know how. I ended up reading the dictionary definition to him.

It's a perfect example of point of view verses definition, and how it only serves to make people feel comfortable and secure with the idea that they're right and their ideas are only what apply, their points of view, because it makes them happy. In this case my friend used that word because it humored him, just like it humors every ignorant person who uses it. He'd call the school he graduated from 'Sir Gay,' thus insulting his school, homosexuals, and probably everyone who goes to it. That's a lot of people to insult at once, including me, and I'm not even gay myself.

I'm sure there's lots of people out there that don't intend to be demeaning but use that word jokingly or out of annoyance or dislike because they think there are two meanings to it, one for humor/something lame and the other to define the sexual orientation of homosexuals. Unfortunately they're wrong in that it's really just a degrading slang term based on how people used to view those other people. Unfortunately still, because it's so normal to use the word in such a way, you might as well add it as a second meaning, which I don't think is right. On Wictionary there are several meanings, including this one.

If the word 'gay' is used to mean something is boring or stupid or lame, and it's recognized as a way to describe something as such, then where do you think the meaning comes from? Sure, we can say 'gay' means those things in one way. Then you go on and wonder, how did the word come mean such things? Because in the old days it was not normal or usual or considered right to be attracted to males. It used to be considered a bloody illness, and it was prohibited by law to be such. How can it be against the law to be born something? Therefore people regarded those who were gay as weird or distrustful or retarded or whatever. What if the tables were turned and it was taboo to be straight? I'm sure the world would be a pretty different place then.

Back then, still, the word used to mean 'happy,' or 'colorful, bright.' While I'm not super enlightened about it, perhaps it may be why pride parades use rainbows or bright colors to distinguish themselves in a positive way.

I heard on the radio a short while ago that Harper's government put a law into effect prohibiting same-sex marriage. It is now against the law to act on your feelings for someone in a civil or official manner; people of the same sex can't be coupled legally, which I think is silly and stupid. They aren't any different from people who are straight at all except for the gender of who they love romantically, and love itself is no different either - it's a wondrous, amazing thing everyone should have a right to explore with anyone without constraint. While I have one friend who can be ignorant and close-minded and say things like that, I have a few other friends who are gay themselves. They're great people to get along with.

There's one more thing that gets me on this - those deeply religious people who are so intolerant of others who are different or believe in different things that they end up being cruel and hateful. There are families out there that abhor the ideals of others including those who are gay or lesbian that have children who might turn out to be such. I don't dislike religion in general and I think it's even kind of cool in a way, but there are people out there who interpret religion to such an extent that it ends up not being human. Imagine being a preteen coming to terms with him or herself in a devout Christian family that is intolerant of certain sexual orientations. It must be like Hell - and if I'm not mistaken, all those religious texts - bibles and such - were written by humans, not God or whatever deity is believed in. They were written a long time ago as a set of rules and followings that were very probably written under the ideal that a deity like God would look favorably upon them. If there were a God or deity out there, I'm sure they'd want everyone to be free to be whatever they are, whoever they are, regardless of mental disability, sexual orientation, race, whatever, rules aside.

It doesn't matter who you are, whether you're gay, straight, black, white, man, woman, whatever - you're cool. And nothing should prohibit you from being such.

Justin C.

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