Sunday, September 19, 2010

"It's Not Equal"

--
My friends all used to say it would never work
To think she was interested was just me being a jerk
It would never be true or genuine
It would just be me, left to change my mind.


You will always say 'right,' 'yeah,' and 'okay,'
But is it really just a complete feign?
Not with you, no, it will always be equal
My friends were always right in the prequel


I can always open up, say how I feel
But you can never do the same
People will always like you
But you can never see it through


If you call everyone equal, you can never love them, 
infatuation's off the table
And if you consider all the good and well-meaning you equally like
You're bound to go unstable


But it's not equal, no way
Because I know you like me anyway
Liking everyone good all at once
That's bound to shatter on a pounce


You contradict your generality with one person
plus any of your friends like Jim and Kirsten
But you never knew me as a friend in the beginning
You just stared and smiled at me in the first inning.
I saw your eyes, I saw your expression
Your body language gave the impression
-But no, that's reserved for everyone
Because you'll never like or love someone



If you call everyone equal, you can never love them, 
infatuation's off the table
And if you consider all the good and well-meaning you equally like
You're bound to go unstable

Don't bother opening up to me
I know what you will say, all to a tee
Everyone likes you, but I don't mean everyone
Just the people who thought you liked them back, (simple one)

I can tell you how I feel
I know you will like that
Because you're just curious, and like to be pat
And I can fully take charge of our chats

Nothing will come from you though, whether it's from the present or the past
You'll just say 'right,' 'yeah,' and 'okay,' as if that is a blast
But you won't fool or con me, no way
Because I know you like me anyway

If you call everyone equal, you can never love them, 
infatuation's off the table
And if you consider all the good and well-meaning you equally like
You're bound to go unstable


It's never equal, not in this world
Because when we have each other, it means so much more.
--
Yeah, I just wrote this out of slight frustration over something. I wrote a nutty, over-long, over descriptive, messy post on how I annoyingly found every girl that seemed extremely interested in me, through body language and how they looked right at me so often or knowingly manipulated things in such a way as to bring me closer, unable to bring themselves to admit that maybe they like me.
I argued that of course there was the idea that I misread things, but it would end up meaning that every single girl I've ever kind of liked never liked me at all and just felt like staring at me for prolonged periods or bumping rudely into me.
Don't read the post I linked; it's overlong and too messy and descriptive.

The little song I wrote is about how someone has come to love another, and they know each other, and the boy is certain of how she acted towards him in the past, even though they weren't friends then, but the girl is adamant in that she liked everyone she saw inherently good, equally. The boy is basically saying that it's not possible to like everyone the same way she has focussed on him, which contradicts her equality, and is basically trying to get her to say more than her three words of choice, maybe admit she has at least some feeling towards him. Oh, and by the point this song is written, they do know each other and the boy has (repeatedly) said how he feels.

It's basically all about equality; the fact that you can't like everyone (good) equally, but also the lacking equality in the relationship or friendship or whatever the boy is in with the girl, because the boy knows he likes the girl but the girl can't reciprocate when the boy knows she obviously can to an extent.

On an different note, it isn't wise for anyone to tell me to be positive on the idea that maybe someone likes me; it's been enforced too much, both by my friends and by certain girls that I've come to like, that no one does. If I tell you I kind of think someone likes me, don't ever tell me that you hope they do or suggest that maybe they do; you're giving me false hope or positivity in lieu of your already telling me you don't like me that way, along with all my past friends who've advocated for that. I refuse to believe anyone has interest in me anymore. They'll just back up my friends and tell me what you said.
'Yeah. Right. Okay.'

Justin C.

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